Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Phantom Twin Christ Adventures

Ah, the best laid plans. I had intended to keep writing each week. Then the semester hit me like a crosstown bus at rush hour. Thankfully, that is all over and I have a few weeks before summer semester crashes down upon me. I'm taking advantage of this time to finally get some uninterrupted diss research in.

My two favorite news items this week involve the British guy who expressed his embryonic twin brother from his belly button. Apparently he'd absorbed the twin in utero, and it took 30 years for the little bastard to worm its way out into the open. The man, called Gavin, has named the embryo Little Gav and keeps it in a plastic jar. He shows the plastic jar to company when they visit. The story itself is grotesque and enthralling, but I take most amusement in the mundane aspect of the story. Keeping your absorbed embryonic twin in a jar and showing it to company is SUCH a guy thing to do. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2420523.ece

I also read about a woman whose stroke left her left side paralyzed and yet newly possessed of a phantom third arm. They did brain scans on her whilst putting her through some basic hand and arm movements to chart her brain activity. Attempts to move each of her real arm resulted in brain activity in the proper sectors. Requests that she move her phantom arm ALSO resulted in brain activity that exactly resembled what had previously been recorded. Apparently she can scratch itches with this arm. http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/front/Doctors_confirm_woman_s_imaginary_third_arm.html?siteSect=105&sid=10522330

Sometimes it's really hard not to laugh at someone, no matter how much you love him. For example, I was talking to Sean about the afterlife the other day. I find him frustratingly naive even at the best of times, but last week takes the cake. Sean is a devastatingly sincere and depressingly naive born again christian. He believes that the Bible is the perfect and infallible received word of God. It is my strong suspicion that while many christians use their bible as a reference guide, Sean wields his like a riot shield to protect him from life. This suspicion became stronger when in discussing our beliefs he said that he is looking forward to going to dwell with Jesus in the afterlife, because Jesus was going to take him on adventures. Yes, you read that right. Jesus is going to take Sean on adventures. I bit my lip, smiled, took a deep breath, and then asked, What sort of adventures? Sean explained, "We'll talk about why he made the ocean like that, what he meant when he created giraffes, you know, adventures." Apparently the sort of adventures you encounter at the local library during story time. I wanted to scream Where in the hell did you come up with that? It's not in any bible I've ever read and I've read five different English translations of it, several times apiece. But I didn't. I also wanted to guffaw. I held my tongue. You should see the dent left in it from my teeth clamping down on it to keep from saying something nasty. But as he doesn't read this post, I feel free to vent here. I've dealt with a lot from Sean, in particular his intentional denseness if failing to admit that while he claims to honestly hold no romantic interest in me, his body language and actions scream otherwise. His extreme curiosity about life as defeated by his intense fear of living, his desire to defeat all his hideous anxieties stumped by the comfortableness and familiarity of them, leave me both amazed and dumbfounded. But his adventures with Jesus thing now makes it hard for me to even respect him. Which, I think, is actually the worst thing that can happen to a friendship. Not sure what I am going to do here....

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